From Chore to Treasured: Driving Your Kids to Sports
“It won’t be like this for long.”
― Darius Rucker
When we first registered our oldest daughter in organized sports, it was a manageable experience. It was just one or two nights a week and watching her grow and develop in her chosen sport filled us with pride. Fast forward more than ten years, and now we have three daughters actively participating in competitive volleyball and sometimes other overlapping sports and practice times. Our evenings now feel entirely devoted to shuttling our daughters around the city for volleyball, and surprisingly, I have come to cherish every second of it.
The transformation in my outlook on spending evenings in the car came from the power of language and the choice of words. Up until a year ago, we would plan who had to drive which daughter to which activity. The word "had" carried a negative connotation, making the task feel burdensome. One night, I decided to switch the word to "get," and suddenly, the task became a positive part of my day.
By saying "I get to drive my daughter," my mindset shifted, leading to more positive changes in our time together. This simple change in language made me realize that these car rides were not just about transportation; they were opportunities for connection. If we didn't have sports, we would not have one-on-one time each day. She would probably be in her room, and I would be watching some mindless show on tv, or worse, answering work emails.
Our car rides have become precious moments to talk about anything and everything. Sometimes, they are times of peaceful silence, where we simply enjoy each other's company without the need for words. These moments have allowed us to bond in ways that might not have been possible otherwise.
The Power of Positive Language
The shift from "had" to "get" was a game-changer. It transformed a routine task into a valuable opportunity. This change in perspective can be applied to many aspects of life, but it has been particularly impactful in our daily car rides. By viewing these moments as opportunities rather than obligations, we have created an opportunity for meaningful conversations.
Creating Lasting Memories
As we drive through the city, we talk about school, friends, dreams, and even the little things that happened during the day. Not every car ride is filled with conversation. Sometimes, we sit in comfortable silence, enjoying the presence of each other. These quiet moments are just as valuable as the ones filled with chatter. They offer a chance to reflect, relax, and simply be together. In a world that is constantly moving, these peaceful pauses are a gift.
The Time is Short
The time your child spends in sport can be very short. As you can see in the graph below, that time with your kids drops off quickly when they turn 18. The average life expectancy in Canada is 82 years. If you spend 12-14 of those years driving them to and from sports, that leaves 68-70 years that you are not. There is an end date to the driving, and when you take a high-level view, that window of time in your life is very short.
As you can see, the navy line showing time spent with parents, siblings, and family drops quickly.
The simple act of driving your child to their activities can become a treasured part of your day. By shifting your perspective and embracing the power of positive language, you can turn routine tasks into meaningful moments of connection. Whether through conversation or silence, these car rides offer a unique opportunity to bond with your child and create lasting memories. So next time you find yourself behind the wheel, remember that you "get" to drive your child, and cherish every second of it.
Remember, I am not a doctor or professional, and this is just my opinion.
